Thursday, 29 August 2013

Big School review: David Walliams' show is a comedy masterclass, says Christopher Stevens

By Christopher Stevens

PUBLISHED: 20:02 EST, 15 August 2013 | UPDATED: 03:15 EST, 16 August 2013

Britain’s classic sitcoms are so well-loved that the repeats are never off our screens. After 30 years, Only Fools And Horses still tops every poll of our favourite TV shows. 

Entire books have been written to analyse the success of Dad’s Army or Fawlty Towers. And Porridge is such a national treasure that in Aylesbury, Bucks, there’s a statue in its honour, depicting Ronnie Barker as Fletch.

So what happened to British sitcom? Why don’t we make them like that any more — have we forgotten how?

Enlarge   David Walliams' (second right) love of old fashioned British humour comes to the fore in Big School, a sitcom with a stellar cast including (left to right) Philip Glenister, Catherine Tate and Frances De La Tour David Walliams' (second right) love of old fashioned British humour comes to the fore in Big School, a sitcom with a stellar cast including (left to right) Philip Glenister, Catherine Tate and Frances De La Tour

David Walliams is a fan of old-fashioned humour. As a boy, the comedian who found fame with Matt Lucas in their sketch show  Little Britain, was a starstruck nerd who queued for hours to get autographs from stars like Frankie Howerd, famous for the bawdy  sitcom Up Pompeii.

Walliams grew up wanting to mine that rich comic vein. Little Britain, which ran from 2004 to 2006, was often compared with a ruder, coarser version of Seventies shows starring Dick Emery or Benny Hill, with plenty of scope for broad humour and dressing up in women’s clothes.

Emery’s most popular character was a lusty spinster who could send men reeling with a swing of her handbag and her battlecry: ‘Oooh you are awful?.?.?.?but I like you!’ Little Britain paid homage, with Walliams and Lucas in outrageous drag and declaring: ‘We are ladies!’

Critics complained that this sort of comedy should have died out with the music hall, but audiences paid no attention to that, and Little Britain won the comedy Bafta two years running.

So this year, when Walliams announced that he was co-writing and starring in a BBC sitcom, one prediction seemed certain: this was going to be a show that celebrated the humour of his childhood.

But a sneak preview reveals it’s not just old-fashioned comedy that Walliams is nostalgic for.

Big School, a series of six half-hour episodes, launches tonight on BBC1 at 9pm. Set in a secondary school, it stars Walliams as an inept chemistry master who falls hopelessly in love with the new French teacher, played by Catherine Tate, but doesn’t know how to tell her.

It features a stellar cast, including the veteran from Seventies sitcom Rising Damp, Frances de la Tour, as the headmistress. Philip Glenister, who was dirty copper Gene Hunt in Life On Mars, is the pot-bellied gym master, and Joanna Scanlan, best known for The Thick Of It, is the lesbian drama teacher.

Big School opens with a rush of warmth and sympathy for old-fashioned teaching methods. Walliams plays a chemistry teacher who is down on his luck Big School opens with a rush of warmth and sympathy for old-fashioned teaching methods. Walliams plays a chemistry teacher who is down on his luck

From the first moments, it’s plain that Walliams has deep affection for teachers. But the children?.?.?.?well, he’s not quite so keen on them.

Earlier this year, he made a one-off documentary for ITV, going back to his former school, Reigate Grammar in Surrey, and meeting old classmates and teachers. There was an instant rapport between him and the staff, and an awkwardness with his own peers.

He had been bullied as a teenager, and we got a strong sense that he’d be happiest at a school with no pupils at all, just teachers.

Of course, thousands of teachers would heartily concur.

So it is no surprise that Big School opens with a rush of warmth and sympathy for old-fashioned teaching methods. Keith Church, a chemistry master with a bouffant combover,  is trying to engage a bunch of  listless, sarky students by staging  an explosion.

He drops a container of liquid nitrogen and a sack of ping pong balls into a tub of water, and the innocent awe and glee on his face is touching. He’s so excited that he can’t even sense the boredom  blanketing his class.

Before the chemical reaction can occur, however, the bell rings for the end of lessons, and the children are gone. Poor Keith looks like he’s about to cry with disappointment.

And then, with a bang and a flash, the classroom is inch-deep in ping pong balls.

Give the youngsters rulers and ink pellets to play with, instead of mobile phones, and it’s a scene that would fit neatly into Carry On Teacher, the black-and-white 1959 movie with Ted Ray and Leslie Phillips.

If we were expecting old-fashioned comedy, we’re certainly getting it.

The traditional approach brings benefits. There’s no wobbly handheld camera work, no improvised dialogue, no barrage of foul language, no filthy single entendres

David Walliams played a disgruntled teacher in his sketch show Little Britain with every teacher's worst nightmare Vicky Pollard, played by Matt Lucas. It's clear from both shows that Walliams has a great sympathy for teachers, but not students David Walliams played a disgruntled teacher in his sketch show Little Britain with every teacher's worst nightmare Vicky Pollard, played by Matt Lucas. It's clear from both shows that Walliams has a great sympathy for teachers, but not students

Instead, there’s a brisk script with plenty of jokes. Some fall flat, and tonight’s opening episode on occasion plays for cheap laughs, but the show soon settles down. This has the feel of a sitcom that will win viewers over.

For a start, we want to know if Keith will summon the nerve to tell Sarah Postern, Catherine Tate’s French teacher, that he fancies her rotten. She can see that, of course, but she wants him to pluck up the nerve to say something.

The trouble is, there’s a leery, cocky gym teacher in the staffroom too, and Miss Postern seems to enjoy flirting with him.

Tate’s Postern suffers from the classic sitcom character flaw: she thinks she’s wonderful, despite all the evidence. She’s desperate to be liked, and she can’t see what an idiot she’s making of herself. Miss Postern is David Brent in a dress.

This show could be the lift that Tate’s career has badly needed since she lost her way as the Doctor’s  mismatched companion in Dr Who. She’s in her element here, as a needy, nervy woman who tries to put on  a daffy act.

It’s hard to play vulnerable without seeming weak, but in next week’s episode there’s a lovely moment when Miss Postern’s courage fails her altogether, in front of a packed assembly hall, until Keith steps in to save her.

Philip Glenister isn’t known for sitcom, but he’s doing double-takes and reaction shots like a veteran here. His character, Mr Gunn, is Sid James without the charm — his first attempt at a chat-up is to tell Tate that he lives with his mum, who does all his cooking and cleaning.

In recent years, Walliams has been spent more time judging on Britain's Got Talent that creating original comedy In recent years, Walliams has been spent more time judging on Britain's Got Talent that creating comedy

‘I’m living the dream,’ he boasts, and adds: ‘Obviously, if I get married, I’ll put her in a home.’

But it’s Frances de la Tour whose comedy pedigree really tells. She glides through scenes like she’s on castors. We last saw her as the ghastly Violet, a one-joke character in Vicious who was overshadowed by the show’s theatrical megastars, Derek Jacobi and Ian McKellen.

Here, she dominates effortlessly, playing a headteacher whose only joy in life is humiliating her staff.

She sits in her office, drinking whatever alcohol she can confiscate from the pupils, and honing her putdowns.

When Miss Postern starts  enthusing about the French, the head cuts her dead: ‘Dirty people, dirty country.’

Funny lines, endearing characters: this is a sitcom that will grow on us. Which is a relief, given some of the pretentious twaddle that Walliams has been spouting during publicity interviews this week.

The 41-year-old comic said he was inspired to write a story of unresolved love after seeing The Remains Of The Day, the 1993 film starring Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins, adapted from a Booker Prize-winning novel by Kazuo Ishiguro.

It might have been more honest if he’d admitted he was trying to write a cross between Are You Being Served? and Grange Hill.

Big School isn’t our first taste of retro laughter on BBC1 recently, not by a long way. Miranda Hart has revived slapstick, and Mrs Brown’s Boys stems from a long tradition of cross-dressing ribaldry.

Even Ben Elton’s execrable  council sitcom, The Wright Way, was intended to revive an old-fashioned format.

But Walliams goes much further than any of them. Keith’s car looks like a prop from a historic comedy, such as Terry And June or Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em — it’s a 1970 Austin Maxi.

The car belongs in a motor museum, but it’s the kind of vehicle Walliams’s teachers used to drive.

He’s recreating his life at Reigate Grammar, reimagining it through comedy. They might have been tough first time around, but now David  Walliams is determined to make  his schooldays the happiest days  of his life.


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Bleak tale of the life of a porn star: Linda Lovelace's experiences in adult films make for grim viewing

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By Chris Tookey

PUBLISHED: 17:02 EST, 22 August 2013 | UPDATED: 07:41 EST, 23 August 2013

Lovelace tells of the punishing ordeal endured by porn star Linda Lovelace at the hands of her pornographer husband Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard). 

Sarsgaard is terrific as an out-and-out scumbag, and a surprisingly gutsy Amanda Seyfried evokes a world of suffering as the na?ve and not terribly bright Linda.

It’s a bit like the 1993 Ike and Tina story, What’s Love Got To Do With It, without the relief of the songs.

Peter Sarsgaard is terrific as Lovelace's out-and-out scumbag of a husband. Amanda Seyfried delivers a gutsy performance as the naive Linda Peter Sarsgaard is terrific as Lovelace's scumbag of a husband. Amanda Seyfried delivers a gutsy performance as the naive Lindalovelace

I suppose it has elements of a cautionary tale; the trouble is that the trajectory of the plot is so relentlessly grim that, around half way in, you start wishing everyone’s suffering would end, especially your own.

Directors Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman evoke the Seventies efficiently enough; what’s missing is the kind of visual panache and colourful characterisation that made a hit of Boogie Nights.

Also absent is any sense that Lovelace’s story is the tip of an iceberg.

As a result of her experiences, she spent her life campaigning against pornography; the directors never tackle the issue, which is whether or not porn degrades women and the people who use it. It’s one hell of an oversight. 

The film has elements of a cautionary tale and tells a thoroughly grim tale The film has elements of a cautionary tale and tells a thoroughly grim tale

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Carol McGiffin quits her day job on Loose Women after ten years

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By Jason Chester

PUBLISHED: 03:55 EST, 25 August 2013 | UPDATED: 11:17 EST, 25 August 2013

She became a household name thanks to her daily appearances on Loose Women, but after more than a decade on the panel Carol McGiffin has quit the show for pastures new.

The 53-year-old TV personality was the longest serving member on the panel, but admits she won’t be returning to the long-running ITV show when the new series kicks off later this year.

Speaking to the Sunday People, she said: ‘I’m sure some of you will rejoice but those who might not be so pleased deserve some sort of explanation. 

Carol McGiffin has quit her ten year presenting role on ITV daytime show Loose Women Bowing out: Carol McGiffin has quit her ten year presenting role on ITV daytime show Loose Women

‘I’d been thinking about it for at least a year. It seems mad to quit one of the best jobs in the world – you talk for an hour with like-minded women and get paid.

‘But I felt I’d completely plundered my private life and exhausted my repertoire of anecdotes to the point of boring myself.’

Carol made 1,172 appearances on the show before bowing out when the 17th series came to an end in June.

Her personal highlights include chats with singers Bryan Ferry and Robbie Williams and a trip to Spain, where she visited the set of sitcom Benidorm – her favourite TV show. 

Loose Women panelists Carol Vorderman, Lisa Maxwell, Carole McGiffin and Denise Welch chat to actress Kym Lomas, one of hundreds of guests to appear on the show Familiar faces: Loose Women panelists Carol Vorderman, Lisa Maxwell, Carole McGiffin and Denise Welch chat to actress Kym Lomas, one of hundreds of guests to appear on the show

She added: ‘I had so many laughs, made so many friends. It’s been such a big part of my life.’

Carol is currently following in Loose Women colleague Denise Welch’s footsteps by taking part in Celebrity Big Brother – and she’s already won an unlikely admirer in TOWIE star Mario Falcone.

Speaking in the Diary Room shortly after entering the house, he said: ‘She has got amazing legs for an older woman. Amazing. Her legs are the ideal legs on a woman.

Carol McGiffin with fiance Mark Cassidy, who is 23-years her junior Bit of a gap: Carol McGiffin with fiance Mark Cassidy, who is 23-years her junior

‘It is weird for me. When I am out with my friends they are all boys. Carol is completely different for me, she has come in tonight and got proper p***ed.’

The TV presenter is engaged to Mark Cassidy, who is 22-years her junior, but Mario admitted he still fancied his chances.

‘She is engaged to a 31-year-old which means I am six years out,’ he said. ‘But if her engagement doesn’t work out...Carol, I am single and I am a changed man.

'There have been a few moments tonight where something could have happened but she is an engaged woman.’

TOWIE star Mario Falcone has developed a crush on fellow Celebrity Big Brother housemate Carol McGiffin Fancying his chances: TOWIE star Mario Falcone has developed a crush on fellow Celebrity Big Brother housemate Carol McGiffin

While Carol has already quit Loose Women, fellow panellist Carol Vorderman could be facing the axe as producers plan to give the show a radical shake-up following a drop in viewing figures.

According to The Sun, show regulars Vorderman, Denise Welch and Jane McDonald have been given short-term contracts with their positions set to come under review in January.

The ITV mainstay is understood to have lost more than 700,000 viewers during the last series.

Carol McGiffin has quit Loose Women, but her fellow panelist have reportedly given short term contracts following a steep decline in viewing figures during the last series Under threat: Carol McGiffin has quit Loose Women, but her fellow panelist have reportedly given short term contracts following a steep decline in viewing figures during the last series

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China aiming to be newest—and largest—space superpower

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Connor Cruise attempts to paddleboard in the Pacific...with mixed results

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By Jason Chester

PUBLISHED: 06:23 EST, 25 August 2013 | UPDATED: 11:18 EST, 25 August 2013

Connor Cruise made a splash on Saturday when he attempted to paddle-board in the Pacific – with mixed results.

The 18-year-old – one of two children adopted by Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman – tried his hand at the popular sport during the Oakley Learn to Ride event in Los Angeles.

Wearing a pair of dark blue shorts, Connor was seen wading around in the choppy waters as he attempted to navigate his board with a large paddle – but his efforts repeatedly saw him crashing into the ocean before gamely clambering aboard for another try. 

 Connor Cruise tries his hand at paddle-boarding during the Oakley Learn to Ride event in Los Angeles on Saturday King of the ocean: Connor Cruise tries his hand at paddle-boarding during the Oakley Learn to Ride event in Los Angeles on Saturday

Despite his struggles, Connor was still on hand to give pretty actress Annet Mahendru a few paddle-boarding pointers.

The teenager was seen chest deep in water as he advised the 24-year-old - best known for her recurring role as Nina in TV show The Americans – how best to stay afloat.

For her part Annet saw the funny side as she kneeled on her board in lilac bikini bottoms and a black Oakley top. 

Connor clambers onto his paddle board during an outing on the choppy Pacific waters for the Oakley Learn to Ride event Floundering: Connor clambers onto his paddle board during an outing on the choppy Pacific waters for the Oakley Learn to Ride event

Connor, 18, is on hand to give pretty actress Annet Mahendru a few pointers This is how you do it: Connor, 18, is on hand to give pretty actress Annet Mahendru a few pointers

Connor recently made his big-screen debut in box-office flop Red Dawn – a remake of the cult 1984 film in which the US is invaded by the Soviet Union and their South American allies.

While Connor’s role was fleeting, it was perhaps more remarkable than the film – which failed to emulate the original’s success and saw Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer take a heavy loss on their $65 million investment.

Away from acting the teenager has been making a more successful name for himself as a DJ, a gig that sees him command anything from $5,000 to $10,000 a set.

So far he has spun disks at parties for the American Music Awards and the Oscars viewing party AIDS Project Los Angeles.

Sports equipment manufacturer Oakley’s annual Learn to Ride event sees a host of celebrities attempt different sports, with Vanessa Hudgens and Twilight star Ashley Greene recently trying their hand at surfboarding in Bali, Indonesia. 

 Something's tickled Annet as she attempts to paddle-board on Saturday Seeing the funny side: Something's tickled Annet as she attempts to paddle-board on Saturday

Annet makes her way out of the choppy pacific waters on Saturday Washed up: Annet makes her way out of the choppy pacific waters on Saturday

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Considering a pick-and-mix model of dark matter

Dark matter is the physical mystery of our time. We know from many different results that a fair percentage of the Universe consists of matter that doesn't seem to interact in any way other than gravity. But with every statement like that, there is a limit: our measurements are only so sensitive, which leaves space for dark matter to interact. If it does, the interactions have to be weak. Hence, most physicists think that dark matter consists of weakly interacting massive particles (WIMPs).

Not all candidate dark matter particles fit with experimental data, so they can be discarded, right? Maybe not, according to physicists at Harvard. "Wait," I hear you say, "data is king, so they can't be right." But they actually can, because when data gets turned into models, assumptions often get involved. The underlying reason for kicking dark matter proposals out is the assumption that the entirety of dark matter consists of a single type of particle (or, more accurately, many different types of particles with very similar properties). But who is to say that dark matter doesn't consist of a mix of different particles with vastly different properties?

Setting off for the shores of a universe that has a complex distribution of dark matter particles begins with a journey of small steps. In this case, the researchers considered a population that has a mixture of standard WIMPs and a population of dark matter that doesn't interact with ordinary matter, but does interact with itself. Think of this second population as a mirror universe of protons and neutrons that can clump together through electromagnetic-like forces but are almost untouchable by ordinary matter. A universe composed of these two populations of dark matter will look very different from one composed of only WIMPs.

There is some room to produce a more familiar universe—as long as there isn't too much of this new dark matter, the universe won't mind—so the researchers calculated just how much dark matter could be strongly interacting. They found that this comes out to about five percent, which is roughly the amount of ordinary matter that is in the Universe. An interesting coincidence, if nothing else.

Interacting dark matter has observational consequences, though, which is what makes it interesting. In a spiral galaxy like the Milky Way, it will accumulate in a disk. That means that our dark matter detection experiments, like Fermi and PAMELA (Payload for Antimatter Matter Exploration and Light-nuclei Astrophysics), should see more dark matter than expected. And although the results are uncertain, both Fermi and PAMELA have reported possible dark matter signals that are stronger than expected.

But the dark matter disk doesn't have to be oriented in the same plane as ordinary matter. So the expected excess experienced by an observer in a galactic disk can vary from zero upward to some maximum amount, depending on the relative orientation of the ordinary matter and dark matter disks, adding yet another free parameter into the mix. This, I think, is a bad thing.

This richer model of dark matter may really come into its own, though, in explaining some odd results. For instance, the bullet cluster observations can be explained by either standard WIMP dark matter or by a mixture of different dark matter components. But the Abel 520 cluster observations are not so easily explained by WIMPs alone, though a more complex version of dark matter might make sense of it.

Unfortunately, we don't yet know. This paper was more about the bounding possibilities: how much freedom is there in the mixture? We would still need a more developed model before dark matter distributions can be compared to real astronomical observations. But this model is timely, because the Planck and Gaia missions will shine an awful lot of light on dark matter.

So where does that leave us? Well, we still don't know what dark matter is, but this paper shows that the possibilities are much wider than the ones we've generally considered. In some ways, that's a lot of fun, because it opens data to new interpretation and should result in a more consistent model. On the downside, our limited observational power may mean that we have to wait a long time to arrive at a unique description of dark matter.

Physical Review Letters, 2013, DOI: 10.1103/PhysRevLett.110.211302


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Draft IPCC report has increased confidence in human influence on climate

Today, a draft of the upcoming report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change was leaked to major news organizations including Reuters and The New York Times. The draft is scheduled to go through one more round of revisions at a meeting with both diplomats and scientists later this year. Typically, this changes the wording of passages but not the basic conclusions of the scientists who wrote the draft.

For those who have followed scientific results in the years since the previous report was released, the new report won't be much of a surprise. As the Times emphasizes, our confidence in humanity's influence on the recent warming has only increased. In the report's terms, it jumps from a 90 percent confidence to 95 percent. In addition, further studies of the behavior of the Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets, along with reconstruction of past sea levels, has led to a better understanding of the expected future sea level rise. The new report will suggest that the end of the century will see ocean levels 30-80cm (one to three feet) higher than at present.

The Reuters report largely corroborates the outline, but it emphasizes other things. These include a detailed look at where the heat added to the climate system over the last decade has gone, given that surface temperatures have varied within a relatively narrow range during that span (the report suggests a number of factors, including volcanic aerosols and ocean warming, may all have contributed). It also mentions that regional forecasting, which is essential for any plans to adapt to the changing climate, remains a weak spot.

Neither report actually describes the climate sensitivity or the amount temperatures will rise if CO2 levels are doubled, although the Times notes that the low-end of the likely range has dropped slightly, from 2°C to 1.5°C. However, without any numbers on the upper end of the range, it's hard to give that number much context.

In any case, the worst-case scenario, which involves emissions growing at their current pace and higher climate sensitivity, would mean temperatures at the end of the century would increase by 5°C. There's a new low-end estimate (1°C by century's end), but that would involve the entire globe decarbonizing by 2070, a path that seems incredibly unlikely. In that light, the report will almost certainly indicate that the stated goal of many international climate efforts—keeping the temperature rise below 2°C—has almost certainly slipped out of reach.

This report initially published with a Fahrenheit/Celsius error that has since been corrected.


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